A Nice November

So far this month has been awesome. Nice weather, getting some school done with the kids, getting projects done. Unfortunately for my hubby, it also begins the stressful time at work. I know he so desires not to have to work so hard during the holidays. It's my job to make the house inviting, keep it clean, and try not to add to any stress. That's kinda tricky. :) Overall, the so-far-so-nice weather, the soon to arrive company for Thanksgiving, and just the lovely bite in the air, make this such an enjoyable time. Titus even wanted me to turn in Christmas music today. :) Gabe loved it more than I did. Probably because I'm soooo enjoying fall right now. I'm thankful to live in an area with such awesome changing seasons.

Listening In

Currently I'm sitting on our bed listening to Gabe and Titus play in our closet. It's their little hide out area. Titus has been Batman all day today. I can hear them discussing Spiderman (Dad)'s birthday. Apparently Thor got him a construction set (not a tea set since he's not a girl) and Nick Fury got him an eye patch. Mind you, he has never seen even a cartoon of these guys. Kids imaginations are awesome.

I'm thankful twofold- first, that Titus and Gabe get to have this special time together, and second, that Titus loves superheroes and we can use that to allude to God and encourage his character. Like tonight we discussed how superheroes help those in need and don't hurt other people. Yea for throwing in a good lesson. :)

Letting Little One Be a Big Guy

The SF Giants are in the playoffs. Tonight we decided to let Titus stay up and watch the game. Dressed up as Spiderman, he sat with us and ate ice cream while reading stories with Dad while watching the game. Some moments are so purely sweet I hold my breath. I find myself just watching, quietly, unobtrusively, letting the moment linger as long as it can. Praise the Lord for simple joys and moments of peace.

Every day

Well, like I thought may happen, i have not written daily in this blog. Not because I don't have something to be thankful for, but because I'm generally so content I forget about it.

Tonight I was thinking about how wonderful and heart wrenching it is to watch these little boys grow into men. Yes, I know they are little, but it really won't be long before they are grown. And what wonderful boys they are!

Titus shared with us that his favorite story was Jesus dying on the cross and coming back. Lincoln likes me to sing his prayers to him. And John just loves everyone and lights up the room. Oh, I just want to kiss their little cheeks all day. They're going to be like 12 and saying "mom, jeez, knock it off already!!" :).

I turned 27. What used to seem ancient to me now feels young. How funny that is. But I have things good. Now to work on being less selfish, more gracious and patient and slower to anger. :)

The Never Ending Patience of the Lord

There are times the whiny kids can drive me up the wall. This morning Gabe was talking about how if only Titus would calm down, listen, and stop being so stubborn, he could play and get more good things. All I could think about was how God must think these same things about us. We often try to do things our own way without listening to His plan. We so easily forget that His ways are better than ours and He loves us.

Like the Supertones song says, "Cause every single moment whether sleeping or awake is Your creation and what You made is good. I don't always thank You for the rough days and the hard times in my life even though I should."

Walker, John Render

Little buddy took his first steps last night! He's been thinking about it for awhile now and finally did it. Then he just kept lunging forward instead of taking steps. But I think he thinks it's a game because it cracks him up. :) New stage coming up!

Lots of stuff

The past few days have just been good days. I've been taking the boys for long walks and then we went to the zoo with Gabe, then did all my shopping (with all 3 boys and they were fantastic), and today cleaned and organized, ate pizza and watched football. Yeah, that's a good week. On a good/sad note, Jack quit nursing today. Ahhh! I'm not ready!!!! It's just crazy. Time to get him to drink lots of milk, I guess. Dang kids grow up so fast. But they're so wonderful, I just feel way too blessed.

Homeschool Flexability

Kids just really weren't feeling it today. And truthfully, neither was I. We still did a bit but boy is it nice to just relax a little. I'm thankful we have this freedom. Also thankful that the kids can learn in a relaxing environment without stress. Good stuff.

Lazily Laying in Bed

All three boys are awake but are playing calmly in their rooms. This has become the new routine when they wake up early-we just let them hang out. It's nice to have some extra time to lay around. Although, I really do need to get up because.....hubby comes home today! Woo!

Plane Troubles

Gabe was set to fly out to San Antonio yesterday morning. We got up at 4:30 to take him to the airport. After lifting off, his plane had troubles and had to turn around and land. Long story short, they couldn't get them on another flight until this morning. That meant he got to come home for one extra day.
We called it Daddy Bonus Day.
So I'm thankful today for the extra day we all spent together. And I'm super thankful that it's only a short trip and he'll be home.

Not Needing to Fear

It's so easy to fear. I think a lot of that time that of is what leads us onto other sins. Fear of poverty, of inadequacy, of not being in control. Times of change are always hard. We've chosen to follow the Lord and with that comes change. That can be terrifying. But we have not been given a spirit of fear. We follow a loving God who keeps His promises. We follow God- the only thing to fear is Him. We will stand in aweful reverence before His presence. We will worship with the angels. All is done through Him. May His will be done. Amen.

Roof Over My Head

Jeez I am spoiled. Seriously. I'm sitting here, by myself at the moment, three kids asleep, surrounded by books, using my smart phone to google homeschool ideas while taking notes in my binder. I just ate a heaping plate of nachos using leftovers. I have a lamp on for light and preseason football on tv. The dog is snoring behind me. My house is comfortable temperature, quiet, and safe. I have free time, food, clothes, everything I need and much of what I want.

Time to take time to be thankful for all that I am surrounded by and blessed with.

Happy Boys

How blessed I am with three happy boys. Currently playing or reading or checking the score of the game in the other room, they are content and happy. Yes, they fight and bicker and scream. But overall, they are happy and easy going and I am beyond blessed.

Cloudy day

Sometimes it's just relaxing to have a cloudy day. Especially in the heat of mid-August. Younger boys napped well, Titus and I have been just quiet. That is so what in needed today. It has seemed a bit cloudy over our house for the past month or two. Everything is fine....it's j ust that feeling that change is coming. I'm so thankful our hope is in the Lord. We have joy and hope that there is more and the Lord works all for good for those that wait on Him.

Nursing

I've been so blessed that my kids can nurse. I love the special cuddle time...especially when they fall asleep and just lay in my arms. Nothing like it. I take unnecessary pride in the fact that they've never had a bottle. But I am so blessed we've had any problems. Both Lincoln and John nursed within the first few minutes of being born. Still amazes me how that works.

Special Times

After Lincoln and Jack were in bed, I got some time to spend with Gabe and Titus. I don't always get that because I'm with one of the younger boys. I got a bit overwhelmed and stressed this afternoon. No good reason, just did. Anyway, upstairs Titus was being crazy and instead of being frustrated, I just laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. Oh man, that kid is getting so freaking funny. I am so thankful the three of us got to have that time together.

Olymics

Although I think there is plenty to be dissatisfied with (ie money spent), the  Olymics are great to have on. I love seeing the other cultures represented and, of course, cheering on the little guys. Plus, it's just fun to watch. :)

Cool Mornings and Wonderful Family

I'm sitting in the car  with sleeping Jack Jack, reveling in the cool morning air. After weeks of 95-105° weather, I'll take all the 70s and 80s I can get. Beck just showed up with her friend Jessie. One day apart and we all missed her. Who would have thought? :)
I'm thankful today for the coolness of the day-the renewal that comes in the morning. After a long day of driving, it's easy to be stressed out and grumpy, but somehow the cool weather changes that. Cool weather and hot coffee. My favorite combination. Oddly enough, I've become a morning person. I'd love to sit out and drink coffee every day. Now to get a creek and a willow tree.... :)
I'm also thankful for my family. My fantastic kiddos who I can hear playing bring me so much joy. My sister who I've grown to consider one of my best friends. My brother who's growing into such a strong man. And my parents who can still drive me crazy....and I can realize that I can drive them crazy too....and I love them all the more. Good stuff.
I have fantastic in laws too (that's for you, Vickie). I really do, though. They are wonderful and a gift. :) God has blessed me exceedingly

Short but Sweet

I'm thankful that no matter how much I'm exhausted at the end of the day, even if I've been yelled at, cleaned up sh*t, and not been thanked....it was with my children and not strangers. At the end of the day, I get hugs and kisses from those that drive me crazy. And I choose (gratefully) to do it again tomorrow.

Fun History Lessons

We got to go to the Warhawk Museum today and watch the P-38 and P-40 fly. Only 3 and 5 in the world still flying. It was so awesome to watch the boys totally loving watching the planes fly. I kept thinking how it'd be an awesome field trip to go and learn at the museum. We are so lucky to get this chance to see something so fun. And to live in this free country.

As too often happens, it's been way too long since I've last written. Excuses, excuses. Been getting some ideas of what to write about. Like the fact that Jack is 8 months old now, healthy, strong, and getting ready to crawl. He actually pulled himself up briefly today. Or that despite the fires in Colorado, all my family out there is safe so far. Or a working A/C. :) But I've been thinking about writing my testimony and I think that's what I"ll do considering that I"m thankful for God above all else.

The summer after 7th grade, I was going through what most girls that age do. I was rebelling (kinda pathetically), seriously depressed (somewhat hereditary and something I still deal with...thankfully very rarely now), and in general just spent way too much time listening to The Great Deceiver. I was listeing too much and believing that I was unwanted, unloved, unlovable, ugly, stupid, worthless and everyone would be better off without me because they wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. This was compounded by the fact that I was an adolescent and didn't really know myself (or God) very well. I was raised in the church but by age 12  I saw church people to be hypocrites who were usually worse than the non-Christians.

I was at the point of wanting to end my life. There were a few times I made vague attempts that never came to anything (I see now this was God's grace in saving me from myself). I had been to camp (Frontier Ranch in Misiion Springs. It's a Covenant camp) for the past few years and was signed up to go again. The only other person I knew going that week was my friend Jason but since he was a dude we would not see each other often. I had decided after camp (which I had previously enjoyed but now did not want to go yet my parents were making me) I would finally finish what I had started and kill myself.

Arriving at camp, I knew no one and got put in a cabin with a bunch of snobish incoming freshman who were way too good for me. I was made fun of and ostricised right off the bat. I was miserable and would silently cry myself to sleep. My counselor's name was Birdie. A few days in she told us her testimony- she was in a bad relationship in high school where she refused to sleep with the guy so he told everyone she was a whore and before long she was. Spent her high school career sleeping with anyone and everyone only to be found by God and totally change her life around. At the time she was dating another counselor named Redwood (a tall, stocky redhead. I was instantly endeared to him.). His brother Duke was a counselor too. We weren't really supposed to know she was dating another counselor but I'm glad she told us. Kinda a good sign for her life.

That impacted me a lot at the time. If anyone knew hardship, it was Birdie. A few days later, she sat me down one on one. I don't remember everything she said, but she told me that I was beautiful and worthwhile. One thing she said has stuck- she told me as I walked down the hill into camp, she saw me and thought "oh look at that beautiful girl! I hope she's in my cabin!" and she was so glad when I was. I was shocked. Here's this beautiful woman with a sordid past thinking that I was worth getting to know. That night was the night where the story and life of Jesus is shared and there is an altar call to know Him or rededicate your life. I have no idea who the speaker was. I have no idea what he said. All I know is that is when God found me and took me and never let me go.

 We had the option to go talk to someone or go to our cabins or go sit somewhere and think. I went out onto the big field they had and I just sat down. I can remember the exact spot. I just cried and cried. First, it was sadness and my utter unworthiness to be loved by the God who created all things. Then the Holy Spirit flooded my with a peace that really did surpass all understanding and I knew the Lord. Then, in a moment, I was ok. I was no longer hurting. I went back to my cabin that night and slept. No tears. I prayed for the girls in my cabin. From that moment on, my life was radically different. I spent the next 6 years battling depression off and on. It's a struggle that is all but conquered now. Praise the Lord for that!

I am a case where I know that the Lord found me. I did not seek Him out. I did not even choose Him. He chose me. I can see now HIs hand in my life over the years. How He has led me and guided me even when I didn't want to be guided. So here I sit, my three wonderful,  beautiful boys asleep in their beds. My loving husband working and yearning to be home with me just as much as I yearn for him. A house, food, clothing. Thank you, Lord, for finding me and choosing me and loving me. It's more than I deserve.

My Back

I think it takes throwing out your back to appreciate it. I have really taken advantage of mine. Q isms gffffbdgdccbv. That was from my dear oldest son. Here he comes again. Ln nbc multo very Mong l hElEn nb chm drum mnb come .

Anyway, I keep thinking about all the people who never get the opportunities I have on a regular basis. Carrying my kids up and down the stairs. Laying them into bed. Lifting them to reach something. Walking. My current half-invalid status really makes me appreciate what I normally have and will have again. Praise God for blessing me with mobility. And praise Him for this lack of it- I understand what a blessing it is.

Fathers

It's Father's Day today. Gabe has it off, which is nice. There are lots of articles in the paper or on the news about fathers today. I think one thing I've noticed most kids mention is the importance of time spent together. For some people, they took every little bit they could. For me, baseball games on the radio while my dad did yard work or fixed the car will always take me back. Or going to Home Depot and walking down the wood asile, inhaling the freshly cut lumber. I loved going anywhere with my dad-even his office. 

I am thankful my dad tried to spend time with us. And I'm thankful for how all Gabe wants to do is spend time with his kids. He's a great dad and they already benefit from that

Opportunities

I just finished reading "The Help". It was really good and I would recommend it. I hadn't seen the movie so it was all new to me. Titus saw me reading it and asked what it was about. This led to a conversation about how back in the day people didn't get along because of the color of their skin. He didn't understand. There are a lot of things about our liberal society I do not like. What I do like is the lack of racial prejudice. I'm thankful also for the opportunity to talk about how things used to be so we can learn from those mistakes and move on.

Choice

Today I'm having one of those days. I'm just irritable and tired and irritated that I'm tired and tired of being irritating. Boys are going to bed and I have clean laundry on the floor, dry laundry in the dryer, clean wet laundry in the washer and a mound of dirty on the laundry room floor. None of it will get done tonight. The kitchen is a mess, I forgot to wash our bed sheets so we have none, and I ate too many cookies.

It's pathetic how easily I get overwhelmed. Three kids are fed, pj-ed, and in bed. I can hear my hubby putting away the laundry. We can use the guest sheets. Oh well on the cookies.

I'm thankful that God loves me like He does. I'm thankful I'm more than a child prone to tantrums in His sight. I'm thankful for each and every day I get to serve my children and hubby and be served more than I deserve. I'm thankful He gives me the grace and ability choice to see how good I have it. To choose not to let something as silly as laundry overwhelm me and steal my joy.

I choose to instead be overwhelmed by Him. By His grace, His mercy, His steadfast unending love. To be overwhelmed with humility in remembering how little I am. I choose to celebrate and not dismay.

And I choose to do better tomorrow...and finish the laundry. :)

Potty Training

It's been awhile! Not that I haven't been thankful, just forgetful. :) So let's see, in the past week and a half, Jack sits up on his own, sleeps through the night most of the time, and turned 7 months old. Woo! Titus starts tball tomorrow (!) and we've all had colds. Mostly all better now.

The highlight though is Lincoln is almost totally potty trained!! I can't believe it! Seriously kinda in shock. Over a year earlier than Titus. Even pooping on the toilet and no accidents in a few days. I'm still a but nervy about no diaper overnight but he's dry 1/2-2/3 the time. Another few days and we'll try it. I have to watch him and look for signs most of the time but yesterday he started telling us. Yea!

Skyped with Mike and his girlfriend Carrie last night (my folks were there for awhile too). That was fun. Nice to "see"other people.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to be able to do that. Also thankful for a family I love. ;) Can't wait for the Tahoe trip.

Sick Kids at Home

These past couple days are when I'm so glad we stay home. Titus caught a flu/cold sometime between last Thursday-Saturday. Monday he threw up once and then it was just a cold after that. Wednesday night, Lincoln woke up and threw up and proceeded with a normal cold. Jack, thankfully, skipped the throwing up but has a cough and a cold. Now it's catching up with me too. I'm toeing the line between resting and trying to get stuff done before I'm too sick to move.

These are the times, more than others, that I am so thankful I stay home with the kids. We all get to rest. No worries about having to go out or even get dressed! We're keeping the germs confined to our house. And yes, PBS is my friend when I want the kids to sit on the couch all day. It's amazing how hard it is to actually get kids to sit and not run around.

It's so nice to see the kids getting back to normal and being their silly selves again. As much as they can wear me out, I'd take the crazy running 10:1 over the laying around.

On another note, I'm a little frustrated with the habit of tv in the morning. Especially now that it's warming up outside, I'm planning on starting to take walks in the morning as soon as Gabe leaves for work. I only wish there was more within walking distance. I'd love to just walk to the store. Oh well. I think I'll try to make them scavenger hunt walks. I need to be more proactive in preparing stuff for the boys. Ooh, maybe I'll make a treasure map and have them guide me. That'd be.

I'm also so thankful for a neighborhood where I can safely walk! I do really love it here in Idaho.

The Weekend

It's been six years that Gabe has worked retail and seven since we left college. Weekends have not been weekends in a long time. Yet Gabe got Saturday and Sunday off this weekend. We did the Komen Race for the Cure (thanks to stopping to nurse Jack, I finished close to dead last), played baseball and went to the zoo, then watched my baby sister graduate with her AA. Sunday was Mother's Day and Vickie's birthday. My parents were with us as well which was just wonderful.

Unfortunately, Titus is sick today. Worn out from a long weekend. He was coughing Saturday night.

But I am thankful for the time we had. The boys did great and I have a wonderful family. I'm especially thankful for the blessings of them.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

I read not so long ago on the blog of another Christian homemaker an article about the Proverbs 31 woman. It wasn't horrible, but made a big point that "the Proverbs 31 Woman had help". At first, I thought about it and realized that was true. Women back then, especially women of wealth that Soloman would have known, usually had many servants. They also had extended families around.

This made me think two things:
1) we are missing out as a culture not having extended families around and involved
and 2) that "had help" statement is bull crap.

We are modern women in a modern society. We have help- they just happen to be appliances. We have running water, toilets, diapers, dishwashers for our dishes, laundry machines for our clothes, fridges to keep our food cold, stores to buy ready-made food, ovens and microwaves to cook our food, even schools we send our kids to.

The problem is women are no longer proud of who we should be. Feminists are so obsessed with being equal that they forget that the difference is what is most important. Plus, we have the best role. We don't have to be stuck working away from those we love. We get to be with our children and raise them up (a mighty task), we get to serve others in all we do (a very Christ-like role), support and encourage our spouses and family and friends. What joy we should be taking! What hope for the future we should have! How sad is it that so many miss out by being discontent!

I am thankful I get to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman and with help, support and love fromthe Lord and my family I will get closer to it everyday.

Proverbs 31:10- (ESV)

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than v jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She  seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;she brings her food from afar.
15 She  rises while it is yet night and  provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She  dresses herself  with strength and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She a opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to  the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 
22 She makes  bed coverings for herself; her clothing is  fine linen and  purple.
23 Her husband is known in  the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many  women have done  excellently, but you surpass them all.” 
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Family Support

So recently through a lot of prayer and consideration, we've decided to (deep breath) homeschool. The reaction that we have had from family has been amazing. I don't really know what I was expecting, but everyone jumping on board with excitement surprised me. This will be a long and interesting journey and I'm so blessed to have so much support.

A Hubby Who Spends His Days Off Chasing Kids

Gabe had yesterday off and it was wonderfully sunny. We decided it was a zoo day. While Lincoln was sleeping, Gabe and Titus played baseball. The other day they went "fishing" in the rain runoff by our house.

Of course the two children that can walk were running everywhere. Gabe was often chasing after them, often with one on his back.

I know exactly how blessed I am. It's such a bonus that my hubby honestly wants to spend all his time off with his kids. What an amazing guy. Forgive my gushing, I'm just uber thankful. :)

Baseball

Nothing says summer like baseball. Probably because I spent my childhood watching it and listening to it on the radio. My dad would often be working on projects outside with the Giants on the radio.

Years ago I reconnected with a friend from high school who had two young boys (about 4 and 2 at the time) whereas Titus was under a year at the time. He told me his boys played baseball from the time they could walk (the same friend once told me heaven must have Giants baseball or it wouldn't be that heavenly). At the time I thought no way. They wouldn't really start sports that early.

Boy was I wrong.

Now my oldest is 4 and will be playing tball this summer. We're watching Giants baseball nearly everyday and playing (catching, throwing, batting) more often than that. Sometimes Lincoln joins in too.

Baseball is so nostalgic and comforting to me. I hope the kids can have that too. Yeah, it's just a game. The players get payed a ridiculous amount of money. The tickets cost an outrageous amount. But there's something about watching that game with your dad, cheering on your team, or connecting with that ball that is just something wonderful.

Patience

Okay, I'm not really thankful for that I am being taught it. That's not really true either, I am thankful for it. It's just that I get angry really easily sometimes. Maybe it's the Welsh in the Scottish in the British in me. Or maybe it's just that I'm human and prone to sin. Either wait, God likes to teach me patience by my dog and my kids. Sometimes my husband. Or my sister. Or my parents. Or my in laws. For my neighbors. Or the mail lady. Or my cooking. Or the dishes. Shall I go on? I think the point is made.

Point being, patience is not something that I am naturally good at. I think that some people have it in spades, but I am not one of them. I'm better at fuming in my head. You know, thinking of all the things you want to say but won't. I'm very good at that. Too bad that's not a spiritual gift.

I think that is one reason God allowed me to get married young and have a lot of kids. He takes every opportunity to teach me. Well, I'm thankful for it, because I need to learn. :) Good thing God is patient with me.

Quiet Time

Sometimes there's nothing like a moment of peace and quiet. That time when Jack Jack is nursing and Lincoln is sleeping and I have told Titus sure, you can watch Curious George. :) When you know your children are safe and content and you can just sit on the couch for a little ....almost guilt free.

I'm so thankful for my little misters who let me have down time occasionally. Helps all of us to be ready for the afternoon. And today I'm thinking-park! :)

Cooking shows

I know it may sound kinda funny, but I love cooking shows. They have help me learn about cooking more than pretty much anything else I've done. Specifically PBS shows. They are not something I have time to watch very often anymore. Not that I mind, but I am more often watching children's cartoons. And Netflix does not offer a wealth of cooking shows. So when I get an hour or so well lincoln apt and Titus is not in the house, I try to get my fix. I really do enjoy cooking, and I like to be better what I do. Truth be told, I am not easily satisfied with my own cooking. Nor am I a perfectionist, so it's kind of a funny combination.

That said, I love to pick up tips and learn new recipes. And I love to serve others I cooking. If only I can find a way to make a service ministry out of it. I am hoping that someday that will be a possibility, especially when I have more time on my hands. But for  right now, I will snuggle my Jack Jack and watch PBS. :)

Today

Ever since I got pregnant the first time, I've half waited for something to go wrong. Every ultrasound held my breath for bad news. Now that I have 3 healthy boys who are going strong, I don't so much worry as I do hold my breath. I don't think that will change if we have more children. I don't worry about falls or broken bones. It's more some underlying fear that one day they will be taken from me. That one day I will never be able to hold those I love again.

I tend to have a negative outlook. I see the worst first, process it, and only then can I move forward and be positive. Sometimes it's a quick process and other times I just have to push it to the back of my mind. It means I often make stupid comments or react poorly.

It's how I protect myself. We all have ways of doing that. I'm pretty good at trusting God until it comes to taking away my kids and hubby. See, even that phrase "taking away" proves my point. I believe in the Bible. I do trust the Lord. So I know this fundamental truth-these boys are not mine. They all the Lord's. My job is temporary, His is eternal. They will be gone someday...if only just to college or marriage.

I think that's how I survive everyday. Knowing that they are God's and He will take care of them. Gabe and I will raise them the best we can to know and trust the Lord and leave it all up to Him.

So I am thankful for today. I know Heaven is waiting and we will be there someday, praising God for all eternity, but until then we have today. And I am thankful for the grace that makes even this temporary life wonderful.

Super Why and the power to read

Lately Lincoln has and dressing up as SuperWhy. he runs around pointing to the book on his chest and saying "with the power to read". Not only do I love that he is being a reading superhero, but the fact that it is encouraging him to read. I worried a little with Lincoln, since he was the second child, that he would not to tell if it looks reading as much as I Titus did. But that has not been the case. In fact, he loves to read the same book over and over and over. It's wonderful to see the boys enjoying books as much as Gabe and I do.

On the flip side, it's also fun to see the boys dressing up and imagining being superheroes. It started all too young but is fun to see. Having boys is an adventure and I'm enjoying it. :)

Time with my boys

Since I was a little girl, all I've ever wanted to do was be a stay at home mom. Now I am and it is completely wonderful. Never would I ever even consider doing something else or working or anything. There is something so almost magical about holding a sleeping baby, reading the same book over and over and over, watching crazy children running around of superheroes play fighting, and especially them until each other thank you and you're welcome. my day time shows consist of pbs fireman sam, lunches are p b j's and carrot sticks for extra energy (thank you Super Why), and we have pancakes for breakfast multiple times a week. I change close to 10 diapers a day, and watch said diapers every other day. I have only managed to scrapbook 5 pages in the last 9 months. I have a checklist in my head of projects to get  done that I don't know when will be done. going to the grocery store it is Somewhat like going to a circus. I hear "you must have your hands full" more often than I can count. Not have a week goes by without me being peed on. Birthday cards are always late, laundry is almost never done on its appointed day, and the kitchen... well, let's just say I clean it sometimes.

There are people who lament having children- or more so the struggles experience with those children. I will be the first to tell you that it is not just sitting around watching tv, eating chocolate and drinking wine. actually, right now I have to keep track of when I drink the wine so that I don't feed the baby too soon. kinda put a damper on date night. :) most mornings jack comes in bed with us before we get up just to have that 1 more feeding. the older boys almost always wake us up before we are ready. And most likely you're too tired to even watch a movie.

This is the best life I could ever have imagined. I honestly don't understand how many mother would not want to stay with her children. I hate dishes, but bring them on. I love my sleep, but I'll give it up. I gladly sacrifice my personal time. These beautiful children are my life, and I would gladly spend every day with them. Right now Titus  is that a class with his grandma. They are handing out cupcakes we made together and I'm not there to do it. I am okay with this, with multiple children it is bound to happen. I am thankful his grandmother gets to do this with him. And I am thankful for the time with my younger boys. They growing up, and they are bound to do. Soon enough they will be in school, and then what will I do with my time? :) It brings me to tears to think about how my husband to go work to some store and not be here with the family. I know he would be here in an instant if you could. I am so blessed to be covered in dirt and poop and have to wipe crying eyes, answer 1000 why questions, calm down fighting children, wash those dang diapers one more time, and get dinner on the table by 5 pm. I have an amazing husband who helps  without ever complaining, grand parents who love their grandchildren and love the Lord, and a live in sister for some good girl talk and help. I can't imagine it getting better than this.

Lincoln is waking up from his nap. He is dressed as Super Why and runs around saying " with the power to read". This is my job and it kicks ass.

Life

I cannot imagine being so helpless, feeling so worthless, as to end my own life. There was once I did, but it was long ago. The difference I know is God-our Lord Jesus Christ and his redeeming grace. There is nothing we can do apart from that. Apart from that, we do deserve to die. We all deserve the eternal punishment of hell.

It makes me want to scream at the devil. He whispers those awful things to us in our darkest moments. "You have done terrible things. You are not loveable. You are worthless and pathetic. There is no reason for you to continue living." In theory, he is not lying. If not for Christ, he's right. But we cannot forget-we are made in the image of the Most High God. We are His image-bearers and Christ died for us. Then he rose again and lives forever. Oh, that all would come to know that truth before it is too late.

PBS kids tv shows

This may not be super deep but truly I am thankful there is something good for the kids to watch. It's nice to have that time to sit and rest- especially like right now when Jack is sleeping and cuddling with me. Plus shows like Super Why (which the kids loooove) teaches reading and spelling. Even Lincoln is learning his letters. A simple thank you, yes, but I'm still thankful.

Food

Driving home last night, jack was crying quite loud and I thought he might be hungry. It was a quick drive and he'd just eaten so I kept driving knowing I'd feed him soon.

It occurred to me that I have never once with 3 kids had to listen to them truly cry because of hunger. I've never had them cry out for food and know I could not provide it. Even if we're driving and they get hungry, I can stop at any number of stores or fast food restauants.

I am humbled and blessed by how much I truly have. Sometimes I really feel so very spoiled. And I am. But I am so thankful my children have never had to go without.

Superheros

Titus has been really into superheros for the past few months. Lately he has been Spiderman and Batman the most often but occasionally Ironman too (that's the role he most often gives to his dad). We think the actually videos or even cartoons of superheros are much too violent for someone his age so he's never seen anything to do with superheros.

The other day he was running around being Ironman and saying something along the lines of how Ironman saves the day and I realized how unbelievably trusting a child's heart is. All we had to do is say Ironman is a superhero and superheros are good and he wants to be one. I understand now truly why God tells us to have faith like a child. To trust and love without inhibition is an amazing thing. We talk ourselves out of it as we get bogged down by the world but there it is.

I'm thankful God cares for us as His children. It is my joy to run after Him and trust unceasingly.

Lack of sleep

Titus has been going through a phase where he has a hard time going to sleep. He calls for mom and dad constantly. The past two nights he even woke up a bunch in the middle of the night. Right now we're  not sure what to do. Obviously getting angry or frustrated doesn't help. It's easiest to want to be a hard ass and just let him scream (which also doesn't work either). The most difficult thing is to keep going in, giving him hugs and kisses, being patient and loving on him.

What I'm thankful for is this-Gabe pointed out to me that we are not unlike this with God. We scream and cry out and forget to trust, forget that we do not need to be afraid and we can rest in His peace. Does God leave us to scream? Does He push us away? Does He think selfishly of Himself and what He is missing out on? No. He holds us, loves us, is never ending-ly patient with us. What a Father we have!

So we will follow His example with our own children and pray the phase ends quickly. If not, we will follow 1 Corinthians 13.

spending time with my kids

You know, sometimes it's ok just to sit and hold my boys and just watch them. Titus playing baseball and running the bases while squackers cheers. Lincoln laying on his stomach and kicking his feet, "hiding" in the baby coat and dodging balls, Jack sleeping so peacefully in my arms. Wonderful. Plus, I have coffee.

Titus

Oh boy this kid has the power to frustrate me more than I thought possible. There are times I about want to scream. It's so easy to forget everything is temporary and he'll grow out of it. That also means he'll grow up...and not sit on my lap, not hug me so tight it hurts, not call his dad Ironman, not organize his cars by color and type, not sing all the wrong lyrics in his little voice, not cry when Lincoln doesn't want to give him all the toys, not climb on the counter to help stir cookie dough and eat all the chocolate chips, not choose carrots over fruit snacks, not ride his bike like a maniac, not trust us implicitly. That will happen all to soon. I think I'll savor the quiet moments and every little joy for as long as I can.

Lincoln's curly hair

It's not simply that it's nice to see something of myself echoed on my son so much as that the curly hair fits Lincoln. The ringlets curl backwards towards the back of his head. My dad wants me to let it grow out which cracks me up because he doesn't care much for long hair on boys (nor do I for that matter). That's just a testment to how freaking cute it is. Something fun to enjoy. :)
Really, it's wonderful to have the boys be so similar and yet different. I still can't believe Jack got brown eyes. I fully expected him to have blue. They each have something different. God is awesome in the creative way he takes the parents genes and mixes them together to make these beautiful children.

Gabe

I've been meaning to post this for over a week. Thank you Lord God Almighty, gracious and loving Lord, for the gift of my husband. Everyday he grows more in you and it shows. he is less selfish, more patient, loving and attentive by the day. He loves and provides for our children, but also spends his free time playing with them. Plus, he adores me and takes care of me and honestly finds me attractive (even on my grubby days). I could go on for quite awhile. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for us.

Grandparents

My grandparents were super influential in my life (hense naming our son jack) and I'm so glad both my parents and gabe's mom & step dad are so involved in our kids lives. Titus has been going to class with grandma every thursday since before jack was born and it's so good for him to have this time. Plus, it's wonderful to be blessed with Christian parents on both sides. Makes a world of difference.

Lincoln

Linc turns two today. Man, his labor sucked. I was in a ton of pain- crazy back labor. I sat on a ball rocking back and forth for most of the time. We didn't know the gender so although I was excited to find out, I was so exhausted I just wanted it to stop. Gabe was great, as always. I was induced at 6 am and lincoln was born after 1.
The most amazing part  was when they handed him to me...and didn't take him away. Then he was hungry, and I fed him. He was healthy, he was strong, he was ours.
Thank you God for the miracle of a second boy to love and hold and watch grow into a man. Thank you for this toddler with his curly hair and sparkling blue eyes. Thank you for a boy who absolutely loves his brothers and antagonizes the heck out of them. My boy who loves to play and give hugs and eat off everyone else's plate, who laughs and giggles and listens selectively. :)
Lincoln, I cannot wait to see who you become. Your dad and I love you more than you can know.

Little sleep

Last night was one of those nights where between the boys I was up at least every two hours. So I'm a wee bit tired today. But being woken up so often means a few things:
1: I have three wonderful, amazing little boys-all who are under age 4 right now
2: these boys have a mother and father who are more than willing to get up and comfort them in the night, irregardless of personal comfort
3: gabe takes turns getting up with me so I never face it alone, even though he has to go to work
4: I get extra time to give hugs and kisses and see my boys sleep
5: my littlest nurses so well and peacefully and goes right back to sleep

My conclusion? I'm spoiled.

Healthy boys

Took lincoln and jack to their drs appts today. Lincoln's 2 year- 26 lbs and 36.5 inches. Very tall and quite skinny. Not surprised based on how he's wearing 3t shirts but can still fit some 24 mo pants. :)
Jack was 26 1\4 inches and 13 lbs, 14 oz. same deal, tall & skinny. Dr B says they look great. Always good to hear.
We decided we're starving so I'm grabbing Five Guys. We all have colds but just minor ones (I'm thankful for that!)

4 months

Jack jack is 4 months old today! He's wearing some 6 but mostly 9 month clothes, and now some 12., yikes! He plays with his hands and likes to babble. He's a little ticklish but doesn't like it. He brings quite a bit of joy to our lives.

Colds

Kids have colds. I'm so thankful they are only an inconvienence. It's not even like I have to miss work. I'm home and can help. We have no fear of becoming seriously ill. Gabe even had the day off yesterday and helped out a ton.

Nighttime routine and hot chocolate

The older boys have been having trouble going to bed lately. Gabe and I put our heads together and came up with a bedtime routine. 2 nights down and it's WORKING! Praise God! Now I made hot cocoa and I'm watching wedding shows and waiting for Gabe.

Sunshine after the rain

After two nasty days,  it's sunny today. Helps the mood considerably.

Supertones

Just listening to music I've enjoyed for the last 13 years and loving it actually MORE than I used to, plus being able to worship God, and add to it starting my kids off right (musically) is frickin awesome.

Little bit of playtime

Some sun today and not too much wind. It's cold but not freezing so Gabe and the older boys are playing outside with watson while I hold jack for his nap. Moments like these where I get to hold jack in the quiet I know are soon coming to an end. Won't be long before he only sleeps in bed. I'm savoring these moments. This being my third, I know how good I have it.

I'm also sooo thankful for a hubby who's just outside playing and happy. That is the most wonderful of all. I'm a very blessed woman. I don't know what the future holds but today is good.

Family time

Getting hugs by the older boys, feeding and cuddling jack, playing games with beck & gabe, eating with the in laws. Awesome.

Health

Something we take very for granted- our health. Gabe had some medical issues and we both have very annoying and, at times, painful allergies but really, we and our kids are healthy. for the most part, our families are too. That's a lot to be thankful for. I know it won't last but it's awesome right now.

Tax refund

Yup, today was the glorious day. The day we got our tax refund. Celebrated Texas Roadhouse style. :) No matter the complaints I have with our government (and there are a few), I am so thankful that not only am I free to worship and live, have hospitals available and education for my children, I get a tax refund. Very spoiled, I am.

Superbowl

The Superbowl is practically a holiday. I spent a bunch of time and money preparing for it. Only Thom and Gen and their 11 month old son Jonathon came. But you know what, there are multiple blessings.
1) getting to know each other outside of work as adults with kids. Gen is only 20 and has a son & is married. I understand how hard it is when none of your friends understand that. Maybe this was a start of getting to know one each other for building up as women and Christians.
2) opening the door for more conversations about Christ. He put Thom in Gabe's life for a reason.

My prayers today are to be the servant of our Lord and be faithful.

Also thankful for yummy food. :)

Simmering

I can hardly believe it. Dinner is simmering on the stove. One of those days I didn't think I'd get to it but I did. I've been trying to be more faithful of a wife and actually get dinner done and keep the house somewhat clean and the Lord, I know, has been helping so I have., thanks to our Father for the grace and strength to try again every day.

Sunshine and Fireman Sam

That is the gist of what's happening right now. Nice day thus far. Gabe and lincoln enjoyed class together while titus, jack and I went to the library. I love books. I'm so glad the kids do too.

Lemon cake- 2\2

Thankful for don & vickie and caleb coming over. Good to have family, and good to have brother dogs to wear each other out.  :)

Grace

After talking to Gabe on the phone, I know I must comment on the grace of God. What an awesome Father we have! The grace that he gave me such a wonderful husband-a man that grows in the Lord constantly, who had stepped up to lead his family with love and respect, and who honors me; 3 fantastic sons who (although prone to toddler/preschooler mood swings) are by nature sweethearts and quite well-behaved and desire to please, growing in knowledge and Christ; a sister who lives here and helps take care of the kids and clean up after them even though they aren't her own, and who I have been able to renew a relationship with after being apart so long; let alone a dog, house, car, and simply being a stay at home mom. God has given me the desires of my heart. Someday this may change and I understand that. But for now I'm living in a season of grace and for that I'm thankful.

Nice day

Finally took advantage of the lack of snow and Gabe's day off and took the boys and dog to the big park. Super good exercise and outing for us all. Glad we got to do it.

Day behind

Yup, I'm officially a day off. So maybe I'll skip yesterday and start today. My problem is that I wait to do it in the evening but u usually avoid my phone in the evening.

Today is Gabe's day off. Current Lincoln is napping in his room, I'm holding a sleeping Jack and gabe and T are playing firetrucks and rescue guys in front of me. How totally wonderful. There are things I need to do. The house is not totally picked up. The bathrooms need cleaning. I need to work out and shower. But Gabe and I are just being with our kids. Best thing of all.

3 monthiversary

Thankful for 3 months with my wonderful youngest son Jack and the joy he brings to my life everyday.

Jan 26

I am thankful my children have such wonderful grandparents. My parents are wonderful with them-my mom takes time to play with them and do crafts and my dad does outdoor stuff and makes planes and watch jet fighter videos with them.
This was a Thursday which meant Titus went to the class he does with Grandma Vickie and then heads to MaPa's house for a Titus day. He loves it and I'm finally adjusted to having time without him.
Gabe had the day off so we headed over there after he had a lunch meeting with some local pastors. It's nicer than I thought having them live nearby. I have to be more patient and thoughtful which encourages m me to be better. :)

Pretend it's yesterday

I knew I'd forget to post sometime, I just didn't think it'd be so soon. Highlight of yesterday? A husband who loves us all so very much. :)

Poor Gabe was having major allergy problems yesterday but put that  aside and played with the kids and then just snuggled with me on the couch for some of our favorites- pbs documentaries.

Laughter

I think one of God's greatest gifts to us is laughter. Nothing eases sorrows or brings joy quite like it. Today I got to laugh and hear laughter- little Jack giving me huge grins and little baby giggles (for only the second time), Lincoln laughing so hard as I "ate" his toes, Titus pretending he understands adult jokes and laughing along with them, Gabe laughing at the antics of the boys, all of them playing bumper cars (where each boy lays on an ottoman and have Gabe and Bekah or whoever push them in a race around the kitchen), and Bek and I just laughing at the Best Of SNL until our faces hurt.

What grace our Father gives that we have the freedom to laugh, that we have a God who loves laughter and delights in it... There is much sorrow, it's true, but there is also joy.

Jan 23

As I was holding my youngest son tonight before laying him in bed and praying over him, I realized just how unbelievably blessed I am. I have had easy pregnancies and healthy kids. I can freely pray over my children outloud without being afraid of the consequences. It's an amazing thing to be so blessed and I am so grateful. Even just telling Gabe about this venture and he thought it was a good idea. Let's start with that, actually...
-a husband who works hard so I can stay home with my boys
-hot coffee with creamer and the financial ability to pay for it.
-a hubby who calls and texts me  during the day
-the sweetest baby sleeping in my arms
-sons who want to play with me

Also for the simple joys of relaxing with my hubby. :)

January 1-22

I'm a little behind, but better late than never. Here are some thankful highlights of the month so far.

1- another new year. Last year we bought our first house, found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child, visited family in Cali & Co, got our puppy Watson, and had our son John "Jack" Zechariah. Good stuff. Can't help but wonder if this year will hold another pregnancy...
3- Jack's checkup. Very healthy and on track developmentally. 11 lbs, 11 oz. 24.5 inches long. Dr B said he was doing great. Woo hoo!
6- Titus just completed puzzles that adults find tricky. He is so smart and he's only 3. Should I be afraid? :)
18- lincoln is a wonderful big brother to Jack. He loves to tickle him and kiss him and share with him. Of course, that's not always very helpful...
22- Titus is making puns. Takes after his dad. And I love that. :)

2012...a year to be thankful

It's so easy to go through life and not take the time to be thankful. I have a problem. I get overly critical of myself a lot of the time. Through thinking and praying I'm realizing how absolutely ridiculous that is.

So I was inspired by Madame Blueberry. Yup, from Veggie Tales. My two older boys are loving Veggie Tales right now (and to be honest, I am too-even convicted fairly often by them). I to spend the year writing daily what I'm thankful for that day.

I also figured I could keep track of what my boys are doing. They grow up too quickly. :) So here we go!